I feel horrible today. I remember that I wrote something about this previously. It pretty much sums up how I feel at this moment.
First published at FHM Philippines, March 26, 2009 | 03:18PM
One fine day, I found myself in the middle of a crisis. I was going out and I could not decide what dress to wear. To make things worse, my reason was being clouded by raging hormones. I decided that help was necessary. I took both dresses and approached my partner.
“Which dress should I wear,” I asked.
“The black one.”
It’s actually ebony. But I will let this pass, I thought. “Oh. But I wanted to wear my long chain necklace.”
“My long chain necklace goes better with this T-shirt dress,” I answered.
“Okay. So wear that blue one. What’s it called, T-shirt dress?”
My dear, it’s periwinkle, not blue. “Yes, T-shirt dress. But the problem is, it won’t go with my gold Tory sandals.”
“Then I think you should wear the black T-shirt dress.”
Ebony! And it’s a baby doll dress, silly! “Yeah, but I don’t feel like wearing my leather choker today.”
“What do you mean? Can’t you just wear that long necklace with the black dress?”
Ebony! Ebony! Ebony! And that suggestion is a fashion no-no. “Of course not. This dress goes better with the choker. This other dress, with my long necklace.”
“I see. So I guess, it’s the blue one with the long necklace, then.”
Pe-ri-wink-le! One more, you’re dead meat. “No. You do not understand. If it’s this T-shirt dress, I would have to wear my silver Havaianas.”
“I don’t think it really matters. Both dresses look the same. One is just black and the other is blue.”
Aaargh, one is ebony and the other is periwinkle! “What? These are two very different dresses!” That’s it! “First of all, this is a periwinkle T-shirt dress! It supposed to be worn with the long chain necklace and silver Havaianas! This is an ebony baby doll dress! It supposed to go with the leather choker and gold Tory sandals!”
“But they look the same!”
He did not see the difference! “They are not! Look!”
“I give up! Why don’t you just wear that purple spaghetti-strapped dress that I really like?”
“Oh my god! You don’t get it! Thanks for your help!” Then I stormed out of the room.
I thought I heard a faint, What did I say? come of out his mouth as I left.
I came back and wore a white tube dress, no necklace and black Havaianas.
My partner saw me and said, “You look great.” However, it sure sounded more like an apology.
“Thanks.” But you’re not getting any from me tonight, I said to myself. I then gave him a sneaky smile. Ha, victory is mine!
I know what you’re thinking. But it can’t be that bad. I love my partner. I adore him. I just wanted to get even.
Male readers, I know it’s complicated. But women get this curse and we have to face this battle against hormones every month.